Dreams, nightmares, worries…sleep tight

A baby, many dogs (but one in particular), colored birds and flies, really dark almost black cloud, fear, and strength. These are some of the things that describe last night.

I know that I have strange dreams. I always dream, even though sometimes I don’t remember what, I know that I always do. But last night…was one of those nights that make me wonder. Make me wonder if the direction in which I am going is the good one.

A baby girl. I know her, she was the baby of one of my aunts’ friends when I was a child. But now I am an adult, living in a strange world and I hold her tight. Her mother? I don’t know where she is but I am holding her and feeding her from a bottle that contains what it looks like milk, but not really. There are other kids surrounding me and I think my kids are also there. I am in charge of them all. I see a friend of mine in the house, but for some reason, I am in charge of them all. I look on the window and I see a small group of colored birds with flies and other flying insects that surround them. They are flying but they are holding their position. In front of my window, they all just stay there and they don’t really move. But they are all together like they want to show me something. I look in the direction in which they stare and I see a dark, almost black cloud coming our way. It is sunny, I think it’s sunset time but this dark cloud comes our way. I feel scared but when I realize that this could be dangerous I try to hide my emotions, I have to be strong for the kids. The cloud passes without doing any harm.

I am at my sister’s house. Her house is full of dogs. Big dogs and most seem friendly. But there is this one dog that stays next to me and doesn’t seem so friendly. It’s like he wants to bite me but his fear for my sister holds him back. So he is keeping on slowly bitting my hand, almost like he is playing but I feel his anger with me. I know he wants to attack me and I am scared. I ask my sister several times to take her dog away from me but she doesn’t seem to see the danger. I am hiding my fear because I don’t want the dog to know he scares me.

This is how my night went by. I am exhausted today yes. There are quite a few things that worry me these days. It’s starting to affect my sleep and I know that this is not good. How do people sleep well at night and leave their worries behind?

I wish I knew the secret…

A dreamer…

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…questions…

Often, someone that we know struggles with depression or anxiety and even though we know about it, we have no interest in helping that person. We have no interest in sharing their ‘’depressing posts’’ or sending them a message to ask how they are today. However, if a celebrity struggles with the same things we tend to comment on their posts, wishing them the best, we share those posts to show our support. The one that hits me the most is the celebrity new moms that struggle with postpartum depression. We have no interest in the new mom next to us but we surely care about the one that we know nothing about except what we see on TV. We tell the new mom next to us to tough it up because if others could do it they can do it too. But we share the celebrity mom post because ‘’she was so brave to share her struggles with the world!’’

How about the couples that break out? We suffer so much when our favorite Hollywood couple just broke up. Often, we don’t even care about the reason, all we wish is that they could go back together because they were making such a cute couple. But when a couple in our circle of friends breaks up, all we do is tell the one that is our friend to simply move on. We have no patience with ‘’their drama’’ because we all have our own problems to think about. We do nothing to give a bit of moral support or to at least understand why they broke up. If we do find out about the reason all we do, if they get back together, is judge them. I mean…after the horrible thing that they pass through how can they forgive each other? We really don’t care about anything else, we only want to judge their decision even though we showed 0 interest and 0 support when they broke up.

Let’s look at the business support. Every single day of our lives we support celebrities with their business. We share their clothes, we share their makeup, we share their lives. We share and buy everything that they offer us. Even if we don’t know them. Even if their things are expensive. Even if at times the quality is as bad as it can be. We simply share and support random people that we see on TV or magazines, simply because they offer us entertainment. But we offer 0 support to those next to us. If someone that we know opens a new cloth store we never go in to check if they have something that we might like. If someone next to us creates beautiful custom-made jewelry we pay no attention to it because it’s not gold or silver or simply because it isn’t a known brand. If someone next to us joins a business and they market it through their Facebook we stop following them because we think that all they want is our money. In the end, we could just give our money to celebrities who already are multimillionaires instead of the person next to us who is probably having a business on the side trying to feed themselves and their family.

I guess that what I am trying to say with this post is that I don’t really understand why can’t we support people next to us but we can support people that we know nothing about? Why do we judge the people next to us but we show support to those that we don’t know? Why do we understand depression and anxiety when someone that we don’t know shares it but when someone close to us tries to do the same we turn our back to them? I suppose that I can’t understand all this.

Thanks for reading! Think about it before you click enter to a comment like: ‘’We are all different and we have the right to do everything that we want!’’ I believe that we are all free to do so, that will not make me understand why people that we don’t know are more important than people that we do know. 😊

Cristina B.

You cannot control my life

I can’t and I won’t let the past control my life. So what if I’m being told that I’m stupid because people step on me and I let it go. I look at it as freedom! I free my soul from hate and fear and I don’t let other people’s mistakes control me. 

I feel the pain sometimes but I shake it and look at the bright side. Look how far I’ve come and how strong I am. Maybe today I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for all the bad things, for all the disappointments, for all the sorrow. 

I won’t let the past control my life! And even if you tell me that I’m stupid and that people step on me I won’t listen to you! I will continue to shake the pain every time is making its way deep down into my soul. 

Cristina B. 

Vacay experience 😍

Sometimes a small vacation is all I need to recharge my batteries. Past years we spent our vacations at Niagara Falls, ON but there is only some things that you can see there and going back over and over doesn’t make much sense, right? 

We decided one day to go to Gaspésie, QC but we changed our mind because it was kinda far, a 10 hours drive without stopping. So we changed our destination for New Brunswick, which we thought it would be closer. It took us the same time 😆 but we did stop a few times on the road. Traveling with young children is not easy, especially if they get car sick so yeah…it was a long, painful drive but once there it was so worth it. 

If you decide to visit Canada or if you are here but want to visit some other place than the one you live in, I definitely recommend Parlee Beach 🌊 in Shediac, NB. Once you are there, drive for one more hour to see the Hopewell Rocks, NB. It was truly an awesome experience. 

I want to mention the nice people out there. Everyone is so friendly and helpful. They speak both French and English and even if sometimes their French is not perfect they do their best to make you understand them. Really nice place with really nice people. ❤️


Where are you spending your vacation this summer? 😊

Cristina B. 

‘Wrong timing’ or ….

Stay positive! Inspire yourself and try to inspire others. You try so hard to act like you should but only you know what really happens in your mind. When at the end of the day you get that headache from trying to stay focused and positive and smile and act like all is good in the world, take two pain killers and go to bed. Wake up and start all over. 

Sure there are days when you don’t want to go out there but life is made in such way that you have no choice but get out, smile, talk, socialize and go back to bed! 

The worst part is when you can’t keep it inside anymore and you get angry at the wrong time. ‘Wrong time’! Is there really a good time to get angry? I don’t know. But when you feel drained after you scream a bit at this person, you realize that maybe keeping it all inside wasn’t such a bad idea after all. There is only so much that you can take though. So stop blaming yourself and move on! It can happen to anyone! 

Cristina B.