People! Life! We have this impression that is all so complex. We have this impression that we know better. We have this impression that we can control it all. It’s all just our imagination in the end. As a matter of fact, people and life are simple! You see, people are selfish and life is what we make of it.
Wait a minute! you might say. People are selfish? What does that mean? Well, it’s true if you think about it. And yes, that includes me as well. We all talk and think constantly about ‘I’. I want food! I want clothes! I want a new car! I want a new house! I want…you think about it, it’s all about ‘I’. Even when we think we are helping others, in the end, we are helping ourselves. We feel good after we made a good gesture, we feel important and helpful, our self-esteem is growing. We are selfish. But that is not necessarily a bad thing because you see when you make something good for those around you and you feel good about it, what do you want to do? Make some more good things, right?
Life is not complex at all. You make your life the way you want it. Stop! Don’t think about those material things that you can’t afford. Think about your state of mind. So, you can’t afford that new car, or new clothes, or a house. And that makes you unhappy and you automatically think that your life is horrible because if you would have money you would be happier because you could afford all those things! False! The more you have, the more you want. The more you want, the more you miss the money. The more you have, the bigger are your responsibilities which bring more stress and anxiety into your life. With that in mind, think about how simple life is! If you stop and enjoy what you have instead of worrying about what you don’t have, do you think that you might start enjoying life and little things? Maybe you can enjoy your health, maybe you can enjoy the little food you put on your kids’ table, maybe you can enjoy that smile or hug that someone gave you. Go ahead and roll your eyes and tell me how wrong I am, but in the end, if you do not stop to worry about what you don’t have, you will never enjoy life fully and you will never be truly happy.
Thank for reading! xoxo
xoxo Cristina B.
via Daily Prompt: Roots Roots
A question that I ask myself often is if my roots define who I am. I am keep on wondering if I can change who I am, if it makes me unhappy. You see, I come from a family where family drama and fights happened often. I was constantly stressed as a child, constantly wishing I had a different family. However, I was always telling myself that it could be worse.
Once I became an adult and I moved out from my parents home I didn’t feel free like I thought I would. I was always looking for my parents approval in any decision that I was taking and when they did not agree with me it made me really uncomfortable. I lived like this for some years. I hit the bottom a couple of times, depression and anxiety where always part of my life. See, this is what I think has to do with our roots as well. Our well-being depends so much on where we came from.
Since I was stressed as a child that followed me in my adult life as well. I was making everyone around me feel like they are putting a constant pressure on my shoulders and no matter what they did to please me I was just reproaching that they do not get me.
They can’t understand me, I was constantly thinking.
One would think that after a hard childhood I should have normally distance myself from the people who created all the drama in my life. Instead, I was closer to them then ever. Trying somehow to make them understand the harm that they caused I was constantly trying to get their attention. And I did! But to what cost? I became the “drama queen” of the family. By now I was having my own family. Two children and a wonderful man to take care of and to concentrate on. But I was not! I was still concentrating on them! On the roots, on the people who made me suffer so much.
Not so long ago it hit me! I am free of them. It is my decision if I want to let them hurt me or move on and be happy. After a lot of suffering and crying, I was able to leave my terrible childhood behind. I became an understanding mother and a loving woman for the man next to me. I still talk to my parents, I do. I can’t let them behind me, however their opinions or approval do not have an impact in my life anymore.
I decided to leave my roots behind and I started to create new roots for my own family.
And that allowed me to live a happy life!
There are people that walk next to you just when it’s convenient for them. People that forget how much they shared with you just because right now they are in a better place then they were before. There are people that when you least expect it, will turn against you, just like that! No explanation, no excuse, just because!
You will wonder what went wrong! Was it something you said? Something you did? Something you didn’t say or do?
You will get mad! You will stop thinking about it! And you will probably get mad again because you simply can’t understand why the fake friendship for so long!
There will come a point when you will understand that it’s not about you! It’s actually because people are selfish and they stand by you only when it’s convenient to them! Give them a better job than yours, a good place to live in, some different friends and that’s all it takes for them to feel superior all of the sudden. The thing is though, there will come a point when you won’t care for them anymore. There will come a point when you will move on and completely remove them from your life, even if it costs you a lot to do so. And when maybe, just maybe, they will fall again from that high pedestal, they will want to turn back to you! However, you already move on, because there is only so much that you can accept. There comes a point when too much was just too much and you realize that you just deserve to be treated better!
I guess that what I’m trying to say is just: don’t let anyone make you think that they are better than you! ❤❤❤
I thought I had a friend.
I thought that I was actually accepted by someone without judgement and just because.
Ohhh how wrong I was!
It didn’t hurt to realize that the friendship was not there…
It hurt to realize that I fooled myself one more time…
Maybe I learned my lesson this time.
Reality is that I don’t have a friend…only the need to have one…
Why is it so easy for some people to have a bunch of friends and yet so hard for some to have just one?
I’ll never have an answer for that!
How to make the difference? Someone said to pinch myself and if I feel pain, I am awake. But am I really? How do I know for sure?
Lately I dream a lot about waking up in my own dream and waking up again just to realize that I am still in a dream. At one point I get so freaked out that I am scared I might not wake up at all…to reality. So, when I think that I am finally awake…how do I know for sure that I am not still in a dream?
You might think that it makes no sense what I say. But hear me out for one second: I live and I feel more when I am in a dream. How is that possible? Why, when I am awake, I feel like my mind and body are hibernating? I feel like I can’t be myself, I can’t say or do what I want, I can’t be someone, because there is no space for me in this world. I have this feeling that all I do is bother those around me. Though when I dream, I feel alive. I feel the feelings, I feel the life! When I get scared in a dream, I am scared to tears, I feel terrified! I feel like screaming and crying and running (though most of the time I can’t do either).
A dream that hunts most of my nights lately is that I wake up in my bed, I get up and I realize somehow that I am dreaming. I say to myself that is time to wake up and so I do. Just to realize that I am still in my dream. And so it goes a few times until I finally manage to open my eyes and breath slowly, somehow relived that I finally woke up. I can’t help it though, and I have to wonder: Am I really awake?
If you have any books about dreams and how the mind works in situations like this, please feel free to share them with me. I am in need of some helpful information.
Thanks for reading! Have a great night with possibly no dreams at all!
It’s been so long…such a long time that I opened the computer to actually write something. Who cares about my bla, bla, bla anyways? 🙂 Probably nobody, but for some reason this blog was always my ‘go to place’ when I felt that I am falling apart. It’s been some crazy busy few months and there are other months waiting for me. I decided though, that I’ll come back to my reading blogs and share things on my blog.
So I had this crazy idea about making money online and I changed my life and my blog and I tried to learn about networking and marketing and all that stuff. It took me just a few months to realize that this thing is not for me. So yeah, maybe networking is the future, who knows? From what I see around me, the end of the world might just come sooner rather then later. Too dramatic, you think? Well…I don’t know about that! 🙂 Yeah, back to making money online. So…this thing is really for people that know what they are doing, that are passionate and that are ready to invest money and invest again and again. Or so I think anyways. After, there is this thing of making friends online. You know what the problem is with that? That so many people that you meet online, the so called ‘ Let me help you and teach you how to make $30 000 per month’ are mostly just a bunch of people that all they want is your money to share with you things that you already know! Yeah!!! Do you know how many time in these few months I subscribed to online seminars about how to make your online business work and all the time I was just hearing things that I know already?! Many, many times! Anyhow…I am not saying it might not work and that all are liars, but yeah…you gotta be careful out there as many of them really don’t care about you or your business, they just want your money.
On another note, how about all the politics and manifestations that go on and on in the world? And I am not talking just about the United States. Also, there are parts of Europe that start to feel the pressure and want to make a change. So, I stayed as far away as I could from all the posting on social media about these things, not because I don’t care or that I don’t have an opinion about it, but simply because my opinions seemed to be somehow different from what people were sharing. At one point, I decided to share a thought about some thing that I thought was stupid. And ohhhhh boyyyy! People jumped on and told me that I’m so judgemental and that people can do whatever they want and that I should not attack people like that. LooooooL. Yeah, that is what I have to say about that! Because I find it so strange that everybody seems to think they have the right to share their thoughts and opinions but as soon as someone thinks differently they feel attacked. And those people that start with philosophical stuff (I meant to say sh*t) that analyze every single word you put out there, as in : ‘ohhh, if you say this than in reality you mean this, and you say this because of a deeper problem that you have and your ego and bla bla bla’. I have an opinion and that’s it. I don’t see why we should analyze every single word that I say or write. Goshhh…not to mention that apparently I have an ego problem so this girl advised me to read I don’t know what book. So instead of telling her where to put that book, I just cleaned my Facebook list! Yup! Winter cleaning happened on my Facebook. Not because they don’t accept my opinions but because they think I should accept theirs but they don’t accept mine. So, out of my life they are. Who needs people like that anyways? I don’t!
Now that I am done my bla, bla…How is everyone? I actually missed my blog and I know I’ve been absent and I didn’t read any blogs lately (shame on me) but I am getting back to that! 🙂
Have a great night my dears! I’m so happy to be back! Stay safe!
Up to now we received a bit of snow here in this part of Canada. This part of Canada is in the province of Québec. Today however, we woke up to a lot of snow that, to be honest with you, I wasn’t really happy to see. Let me show you, it’s not over though, it is still snowing (🌨☃️❄️):
Luckily I’m done early today so I can enjoy a good book without the outside cold. I hope you guys have better weather in your part of the world. If you enjoy snow, can you please make me like it too? 😜😜😜😜😜😢❄️❄️❄️❄️😢
Stay safe! 🙂