We are all alone…

When you sit and think and you know nobody is listening. When you know your thoughts are your own and nobody else cares much about them but you. When you know others are preoccupied with their own struggles, their own problems, their own fears. You know that we are all alone…

When your mind is racing and your body is in pain. When you try to breath and do the right thing but you still screw it up somehow. When you make up excuses and you think your stuff are the most important. When you try to help but you know in the end you only help yourself. You know that we are all alone…

When you freak out for random things like a future disses that might not even happen. When you get anxious about a snow storm. When you are scared that you are doing everything wrong even though you try so hard not to. When nobody cares to listen because they are too busy with their own. You know that we are all alone…

…. a dreamer ….

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Why boys have so much pressure…while girls are daddy’s little princesses 

You’ve ever heard a father that tries to protect his daughter saying to a boy that goes on a first date that whatever he does to his daughter he will do it to him? Have you ever heard or saw a girl get her heart broken and everybody around her blamed the boy? Have you ever heard of a girl losing her virginity and getting dumped and everybody blamed the boy? 

Ok. How about the boy? How about his feelings? How about if he gets his hearth broken by a girl? How about if he is the one dumped after sex? How about if we as mothers go ahead and threaten the girl with things that we might do if she dares to break his hearth?

Well….I’ve never seen such thing. Because boys are not supposed to cry. They are not supposed to have feelings. If they get dumped after sex…well…at least they got sex right? We assume that this sex thing happens because of the boy only. He, somehow makes the girl have sex with him even if she doesn’t want it and well after he just doesn’t care for her. ‘The poor girl’ really thought that he loved her and he, such a monster, never did and pretend this entire time while she….because he said ‘I love you!’ is the victim in this situation. 

Let me tell you this: all this is crap! Yup! Not only boys trick a girl to have sex. Not only girls have their hearth broken and not only girls have feelings. So maybe your innocent girl decided to have sex. That was nobody’s decision but her’ s. If a girl has her hearth broken and cries well get this: she will get over it. And instead of blaming the boy just think that his hearth will soon be broken too. Except that he won’t be allowed to cry because society might think he is weak. 

I can’t sit and look around how girls are victimized while boys are told to be rough. We are all human. We all make mistakes. We all suffer in life. We all get dumped. We all have the right to suffer. 

So to those parents that threaten and say things to boys that go on first dates I tell you this: As a mother of boys I will raise mine in order for them to respect and love everybody. However if your daughter decides to do things it is not my boys fault for her actions! So stop putting the blame on boys! Stop putting the pressure on boys and accept that girls have the same amount of responsibility. They got pregnant? Well….the fault is 50-50, girl and boy made a bad decision. Because no! It is not only his responsibility to protect both of them. 

We want equality? Then we should freaking start acting like it! 

Thanks for reading! 

A dreamer…

It’s not your fault! 

By now most of us heard about the MeToo campaign. If not from social media than from the news. It is everywhere. It’s shocking to me how many people decided to step forward and talk about what happened to them. I knew from my personal experience that uncomfortable sexual comments are made sometimes at a place of work and I definitely knew that many people are raped but honestly I never imagined that there are so many victims out there. I will not talk about rape, not because it’s not important to talk about, in my opinion it is the worst that can happen to someone, man or woman. What I want to write about is sexual comments and how, in the opinion of some people, this is not such a serious thing and it can’t really harm someone.  

Where I live, up to now, two well known and respected men from the entertainment industry have been accused of sexual harassment since this campaign started. One was accused of rape as well but the other was only accused of inappropriate sexual conduct and sexual comments.  

The thing is that some of the people that spoke up about what happened to them said that the facts happened many, many years ago and yet they just decided to talk about it now. Why? They were ashamed, thought it was their fault, they were scared for different reasons and mostly that they will not be believed and they will lose their job. 

I heard two ladies talking about the man that didn’t physically assaulted nobody but made sexual comments and inappropriate behaviour. These ladies were saying that it makes no sense to them being the fact that the guy never raped anybody, that he is accused like that and that he lost his job and destroyed his career ‘because’ of the people that accused him. They said that if someone feels uncomfortable in any way and if he/she doesn’t like it than just grab their things and leave. 

I’m sitting there listening to this and I’m thinking: really??? It’s up to the victim to leave? It’s them that have to change their job and leave this person continue with whatever their doing, doing it to someone new all over again? It shouldn’t be them that have to leave? Shouldn’t someone tell them that what they do is unacceptable? 

Reading on Facebook about the same man I saw that many others were defending him. And not only that, some were saying that what he did it’s not to be condemned as sexual harassment because it’s not and because behaviour like that does not destroy someone’s life like rape does. While I agree that rape it’s way worse (the worst that can happen) I think that this kind of behaviour is sexual harassment as well. I think and I know that when you hear someone making sexual comments every day at your place can actually harm you. I think and I know that when you are in a situation like that you wonder constantly if this happens because of you. Is it because of the way you dress, or act or things you say? Is it because of the way you look? Is it your fault? Why is this happening to you? Slowly but surely it brings you down and breaks you somehow. 

I understand that some people are opened when it comes to their sexuality and that is completely fine. But why do others have to suffer because of it? If you wonder why people don’t say anything to the person that makes them uncomfortable and just let’s it go, here is why: on the spot you can freeze, you might think that you didn’t hear well or didn’t understand well, you might be so uncomfortable in that situation that you simply can’t react. 

So no, it can’t be compared to rape but it’s not acceptable and it should not happen to anyone. It makes me sad and angry and anxious to think that there are people out there that don’t think this is serious. So sad and so angry and so anxious. 

Thanks for reading!

Cristina B. 

Dreams, nightmares, worries…sleep tight

A baby, many dogs (but one in particular), colored birds and flies, really dark almost black cloud, fear, and strength. These are some of the things that describe last night.

I know that I have strange dreams. I always dream, even though sometimes I don’t remember what, I know that I always do. But last night…was one of those nights that make me wonder. Make me wonder if the direction in which I am going is the good one.

A baby girl. I know her, she was the baby of one of my aunts’ friends when I was a child. But now I am an adult, living in a strange world and I hold her tight. Her mother? I don’t know where she is but I am holding her and feeding her from a bottle that contains what it looks like milk, but not really. There are other kids surrounding me and I think my kids are also there. I am in charge of them all. I see a friend of mine in the house, but for some reason, I am in charge of them all. I look on the window and I see a small group of colored birds with flies and other flying insects that surround them. They are flying but they are holding their position. In front of my window, they all just stay there and they don’t really move. But they are all together like they want to show me something. I look in the direction in which they stare and I see a dark, almost black cloud coming our way. It is sunny, I think it’s sunset time but this dark cloud comes our way. I feel scared but when I realize that this could be dangerous I try to hide my emotions, I have to be strong for the kids. The cloud passes without doing any harm.

I am at my sister’s house. Her house is full of dogs. Big dogs and most seem friendly. But there is this one dog that stays next to me and doesn’t seem so friendly. It’s like he wants to bite me but his fear for my sister holds him back. So he is keeping on slowly bitting my hand, almost like he is playing but I feel his anger with me. I know he wants to attack me and I am scared. I ask my sister several times to take her dog away from me but she doesn’t seem to see the danger. I am hiding my fear because I don’t want the dog to know he scares me.

This is how my night went by. I am exhausted today yes. There are quite a few things that worry me these days. It’s starting to affect my sleep and I know that this is not good. How do people sleep well at night and leave their worries behind?

I wish I knew the secret…

A dreamer…

…questions…

Often, someone that we know struggles with depression or anxiety and even though we know about it, we have no interest in helping that person. We have no interest in sharing their ‘’depressing posts’’ or sending them a message to ask how they are today. However, if a celebrity struggles with the same things we tend to comment on their posts, wishing them the best, we share those posts to show our support. The one that hits me the most is the celebrity new moms that struggle with postpartum depression. We have no interest in the new mom next to us but we surely care about the one that we know nothing about except what we see on TV. We tell the new mom next to us to tough it up because if others could do it they can do it too. But we share the celebrity mom post because ‘’she was so brave to share her struggles with the world!’’

How about the couples that break out? We suffer so much when our favorite Hollywood couple just broke up. Often, we don’t even care about the reason, all we wish is that they could go back together because they were making such a cute couple. But when a couple in our circle of friends breaks up, all we do is tell the one that is our friend to simply move on. We have no patience with ‘’their drama’’ because we all have our own problems to think about. We do nothing to give a bit of moral support or to at least understand why they broke up. If we do find out about the reason all we do, if they get back together, is judge them. I mean…after the horrible thing that they pass through how can they forgive each other? We really don’t care about anything else, we only want to judge their decision even though we showed 0 interest and 0 support when they broke up.

Let’s look at the business support. Every single day of our lives we support celebrities with their business. We share their clothes, we share their makeup, we share their lives. We share and buy everything that they offer us. Even if we don’t know them. Even if their things are expensive. Even if at times the quality is as bad as it can be. We simply share and support random people that we see on TV or magazines, simply because they offer us entertainment. But we offer 0 support to those next to us. If someone that we know opens a new cloth store we never go in to check if they have something that we might like. If someone next to us creates beautiful custom-made jewelry we pay no attention to it because it’s not gold or silver or simply because it isn’t a known brand. If someone next to us joins a business and they market it through their Facebook we stop following them because we think that all they want is our money. In the end, we could just give our money to celebrities who already are multimillionaires instead of the person next to us who is probably having a business on the side trying to feed themselves and their family.

I guess that what I am trying to say with this post is that I don’t really understand why can’t we support people next to us but we can support people that we know nothing about? Why do we judge the people next to us but we show support to those that we don’t know? Why do we understand depression and anxiety when someone that we don’t know shares it but when someone close to us tries to do the same we turn our back to them? I suppose that I can’t understand all this.

Thanks for reading! Think about it before you click enter to a comment like: ‘’We are all different and we have the right to do everything that we want!’’ I believe that we are all free to do so, that will not make me understand why people that we don’t know are more important than people that we do know. 😊

Cristina B.

You cannot control my life

I can’t and I won’t let the past control my life. So what if I’m being told that I’m stupid because people step on me and I let it go. I look at it as freedom! I free my soul from hate and fear and I don’t let other people’s mistakes control me. 

I feel the pain sometimes but I shake it and look at the bright side. Look how far I’ve come and how strong I am. Maybe today I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for all the bad things, for all the disappointments, for all the sorrow. 

I won’t let the past control my life! And even if you tell me that I’m stupid and that people step on me I won’t listen to you! I will continue to shake the pain every time is making its way deep down into my soul. 

Cristina B. 

Vacay experience 😍

Sometimes a small vacation is all I need to recharge my batteries. Past years we spent our vacations at Niagara Falls, ON but there is only some things that you can see there and going back over and over doesn’t make much sense, right? 

We decided one day to go to Gaspésie, QC but we changed our mind because it was kinda far, a 10 hours drive without stopping. So we changed our destination for New Brunswick, which we thought it would be closer. It took us the same time 😆 but we did stop a few times on the road. Traveling with young children is not easy, especially if they get car sick so yeah…it was a long, painful drive but once there it was so worth it. 

If you decide to visit Canada or if you are here but want to visit some other place than the one you live in, I definitely recommend Parlee Beach 🌊 in Shediac, NB. Once you are there, drive for one more hour to see the Hopewell Rocks, NB. It was truly an awesome experience. 

I want to mention the nice people out there. Everyone is so friendly and helpful. They speak both French and English and even if sometimes their French is not perfect they do their best to make you understand them. Really nice place with really nice people. ❤️


Where are you spending your vacation this summer? 😊

Cristina B.